ONTARIO, CANADA —In a freak accident late Tuesday night, Canada, the large land mass found to the North of the United States, sustained major injuries and was in critical condition until early this morning when the country’s status was reduce to serious.
The United States, Canada’s emergency contact, was by Canada’s side through the night and when things were looking their worst, the US stepped up and donated an Oregon.
“We know it’s not much,” the United States said after the transplant. “But we couldn’t just sit and watch Canada die. When the doctors said Canada wouldn’t survive the night without a donor, we knew we had to donate our Oregon.”
“It’s not like we need it,” added the United States.
The surgery was a success and Canada pulled through. The United States was also prepared to donate New Jersey, though doctors said the chances of Canada’s immune system accepting it was slim to none.
Doctors expect Canada to recover fully and to be back to its cold, unimportant self in no time.
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In other news, wannabe writer and Indiana-born California resident Peter Alan Herbert was brought in and questioned for allegedly creating the “worst pun ever”. The humor police refused to comment at this time.
P@H
Rand Manly
Digby Delbert Dinglepott
I laughed pretty hard at this one.