LOS ANGELES, CA—In a recent interview published in the March edition of People Magazine, the Gays strongly urged Clay Aiken to “please, for the love of god, get back into the gosh darn closet.” Continue reading
Men: "What is the first thing you notice on a woman?"
NEW YORK, NY — A new extensive study coming from the Cosmopolitan Magazine R&D department has turned conventional mating rituals on its head, showing conclusively that the first thing men notice about women — which for years has been a a debate between eyes or breasts — is in fact that really friggin’ ginormous hunchback. Continue reading
SAN DIEGO, CA — The country is up-in-arms over a recent and tragic death of a monkey trainer at the new Tree-World exhibit called “Wild Animals That Kill Shit”, demanding that the park be closed for this totally unexpected and unprovoked animal attack. The species of monkey, which for years has been known by the playful sobriquet Killer Murder Monkey, is generally renown for its gentle and docile manner, but the wild animal surprisingly showed a great amount of wild beast-like animosity, without any warning. Continue reading
New study hints that majority of crime is committed by criminals
NEW YORK, NY — A new poll coming out of Columbia University shows that crime is at an all-time high amongst criminals, and that almost all of the country’s crime is, in fact, committed by criminals. Continue reading
WASHINGTON DC –President Obama’s flagship thus far in his presidency has undoubtedly been the overwhelming success and support of the No Cheez-It Left Behind initiative, which, among other things, increased the Five-Second Rule concerning dropped foodstuffs to a whopping Eight-Seconds. Continue reading
LONDON — A string of recent studies and published articles has led the science community to express an overwhelming support for a new theory of Climate Unchange — claiming that as far as the smarter, rational, elite geniuses of the world are concerned, “the science has settled…for the most part.” Continue reading
MIAMI, FL – It seems for the first time in years, according to a new poll, the country’s majority of Commercial Enthusiasts, disinterested in this year’s advertisers who made it to the Big Ad Bowl, tuned in just to watch the small breaks of football aired in between minutes of inane commercials…
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Weird Al seen with his best friend, P@H.
LOS ANGELES, CA – Five days after winning a Grammy award for Song of the Year, Alfred Mathew “Weird Al” Yankovic filed for bankruptcy, saying that “the music industry as it is today has become completely unparodyable.” Continue reading
P@H
Rand Manly
Digby Delbert Dinglepott