ONTARIO, CANADA —In a freak accident late Tuesday night, Canada, the large land mass found to the North of the United States, sustained major injuries and was in critical condition until early this morning when the country’s status was reduce to serious. Continue reading
COLUMBUS, OH — In the heart of the Midwest late Wednesday (a school night!) during her I’m a Big Girl Now, I’ll Do What I Want tour, teen pop sensation Miley Cyrus (aka Hannah Montana) experienced on-stage technical difficulties when the sound system’s auto-tune cut out mid-song. What the audience heard when the system malfunctioned was eructation.
That’s right. She was belching. Continue reading
NEW YORK, NY — In a brilliant display of religious freedom, the Christian community has rallied together to raise the funds to build a nondenominational christian center for worship and fitness completely surrounding the controversial “Ground Zero Mosque”. Continue reading
PORTLAND, OR — In a startling new study coming out of the Funny Bones & Health Institution of Portland, OR, doctors have discovered that laughter is, in fact, not the best medicine. Continue reading
GREAT FALLS, MT—On the fifth day of the fifth month of the year, May 5, today, the entire country joins together in drinking, dancing, and drinking to celebrate the holiday Cinco de Mayo for some significant reason or another, certainly, the country thinks. Continue reading
MADISON, WI —- A local historian and anthropology professor, 53-year-old Franklin Bloom, recently made a startling discovery while shopping for socks at the local Wal-Mart — a discovery that would turn our perceptions of American Indian History, our devout loyalty to the beloved Daniel Day Lewis, and the entire American population in general on their scalplock heads.
“There are still plenty of Mahicans,” said the Edgewood College professor and sock enthusiast. “Lots of ‘em.” Continue reading
CHICAGO, IL—Millions of wheelchair-laden and crutch-clad Americans are voicing their anger about all the other more healthy and normal people’s blatant and flagrant display of discriminatory standing and walking, as if it weren’t a big deal. Continue reading
LOS ANGELES, CA — Early Thursday morning Fox Broadcasting Company filed a 200-million-dollar lawsuit against the Fox Broadcasting Company for copyright infringement, saying that “The Cleveland Show is just a crappy knock-off clone of American Dad!, which is just a crappy knock-off clone of Family Guy, which has gotten pretty crappy itself.” Continue reading
Posted in The Headline News: with Digby Delbert Dinglepott
Tagged entertainment, fake news, in brief
P@H
Rand Manly
Digby Delbert Dinglepott